Wednesday, February 20, 2008
i hate being bored. it just makes me feel ignored. which brings me back to the statement which probably haunted me for much of january. 'mel you're just too free'. so maybe i am. but it's not my fault.
i didn't go for work yesterday cos i woke up with my right eye swollen. no complaints about having to stay home of course. it was wonderful not to have to face shelf after shelf of nothing but files. and i finally caught up on my sewing. haha. if they don't bug me for an mc tmr i might just take a break from work every other week just to get my sanity back.
i bought cleo today to entertain myself at work. this month's edition was the one with the 50 most eligible bachelors, though there was nothing eligible about most of those empty headed guys who think head prefects are better than cheerleaders just cos there might be a wild side to her under the good exterior. gosh how shallow can some guys get? worse answer was: cheerleader, it's such an ego boost being seen with someone every other guy wants. ?!?! those who gave good answers were the older ones so indeed older guys are more matured.
i'm super addicted to the song with you by chris brown these days. i just listened to it like 7 times straight it's such a feel good song. the chorus is below and it's just so sweet. haha. go to youtube and take a listen!
Oh! I'm into you,
And girl no one else would do
Cause with every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know no I can't be the only one
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight
With the love of they life who feel what I feel when I'm with you [x5]
Girl..With you [x5]
jo wants me to lead bible study later. gosh i hope i don't screw it up. especially since i'm still not sure what legalism means. jo you better not go back on your promise of helping me! but i'm still thankful for the opportunity to lead i'm sure it'll be a learning experience.
even though i've got a long way to go with my job i'm already thinking what job i should get next. haha. somehow the idea of scooping ice cream at gelare appeals to me. haha. and since i've tried sales, teaching and admin so far this year, i'm thinking of getting a job along the lines of waitressing. we'll see in 3 months time. weiqin manda and i were saying we should go be waitresses in the same place like a hotel. i would love that cos it means having company whether you love or hate your job. haha.
ok the end of another post of random rantings though it's not as bad as the one on tuesday. haha.
first of all, i'm having the most horrible cramps now. it's so frustrating cos i never use to have cramps. cramps as in the one only females have, not the one you get when your muscles act up. in the past i could drink whatever i wanted during that time of the month, including cold drinks and i never ever got cramps. but since last year i started having cramps everytime my period came and it's so painful. now i know what my sister goes through. i use to think girls get cramps like once in a while, not every month. haha. ok this is so weird but i'm bored. and not to mention in a lot of pain. it hurts even more everytime i get off the chair so now i'm minimising the number of times i leave the chair.
i've decided to buy/bring bread for my lunch everyday too. cos i think it's weird to eat with the 30-something 40-something men. yes i work around guys cos it's a saikang job. i think i mentioned it in the previous post. so yup. and sometimes i really hate these alone times cos i'll start thinking of my job and results and start emo-ing. argh. i hate my job to the core and i think it's so ironic cos in previous entries i was complaining (i complain to everyone around me too) about how i don't have one and i'm desperate for one. and now that i have it, i wish i could take it all back. take back my saying yes to evon (my agent at recruit express) when she asked if i wanted the job, take back whining so much and take back the lack of courage to not sign the contract.
i've been praying about my job for a while now and it's always the same. please Lord give me the strength to perservere with the job, to not cry over it so easily and for His presence with me to see the 3 months through. i used to be angry but now everyday i'll think, what is it that God wants me to take/learn from this job. ok if i had it my way it would be to tell me that an office job is not my future. but i'm still not sure if that's the case so i'm keeping my mind open and pray for God's enlightenment soon. or later.
it's not like the people around me are horrible, in fact the guys at somerset are incredibly helpful and nice and so is stephen here at eunos. i just hate what i'm doing. it's so mundane, mindless, boring and pointless. like i have no goal in life other than to make sure the papers are in the files. yesterday i kept asking for things to do till i have a feeling some of the papers they asked me to file are for the sake of shutting me up. so from tmr onwards i'm going to bring a book, sit in a corner (i don't have my own table at somerset) and read till someone comes to me with papers to file. it doesn't pay to be pro-active there seriously.
gary says there are boring aspects to every job but from how i see it, every aspect of my job is nothing but boring. argh it's so hard for me to accept this job as smth i'll be doing for 3 months and to just take it as an experience.
sometimes i wish you'd always be free to accompany me. how selfish of me like you've got nothing better to do.
HELLO WEIQIN! (: yes that dear girl blogged so i had something to read at work today and i love her for that. i'm msging her now too so thank God for sending someone to accompany me.
actually she was asking me to check the moe website to see if they've anounced when the As resuts will be out cos she's freaking out about it. and now i am too. yesterday i met chandra manda and weiqin for dinner and we were talking about it. and she said something that really made me think. she asked what do you think you'll get for As, without kidding yourself. CCDDE was the best case scenario that popped in my mind. the feeling i get everytime i think of that is indescribable. what am i suppose to do/where am i suppose to go with that kind of grades? cos honestly i wasn't confident with any of the papers, i screwed up quite a number of them. and it doesn't help telling myself that it doesn't help worrying now which is such a contradiction with my belief that we should trust God with everthing. it's just so hard to. oh well something new to pray about.
i'm more or less expecting CCDDE. ):
and no matter what manda says, i still think it's partly my fault. i should really keep my mouth shut next time when it comes to such issues, or at least think properly before saying anything. i mean of all things i myself have always had a strong stand of being certain before advancing to the next level. i really feel like a horrible friend for giving such horrible advice and to cause so much hurt and confusion.
ok my post is sounding super sad i shall try steering it in the opposite direction now. valentine's day didn't turn out as bad/awkward as i feared it to be. the bouquet was gorgeous, the dinner was lovely and spending time with him was wonderful. (:
i think something i learnt from all this is to truely give and take.
weiqin and i wanna wear our sa uniform when we collect our results! haha. we're trying to get the rest of the class to do it too. and no weiqin i'm not gonna laugh at you when you have to go on stage in your school uniform to get your cert for 4As. i'll be screaming the loudest for you ok. haha. i hope the rest of the class will be enthu about it!
meeting up with weiqin manda and chandra yesterday was wonderful as well i really really really really miss my class. but it's kinda sad cos we can't stay out for long with work and everything the next day. looking forward to the class bbq even though it's in march.
i miss rojaks and babes too. colleen's in melbourne now hope she's alright. min's still obssessed with stickers. i still haven't really caught up with jas and geks yet! and i missed the cny rojaks gathering cos i was sick. how i wish i was still back in school where i could still see everyone around even if we couldn't meet up.
ok i'm tired of blogging alr haha. i shall continue ranting again on thursday. if you've read all the way till here thank you for not letting all my typing go to waste. haha. (:
i hate being bored. it just makes me feel ignored. which brings me back to the statement which probably haunted me for much of january. 'mel you're just too free'. so maybe i am. but it's not my fault.
i didn't go for work yesterday cos i woke up with my right eye swollen. no complaints about having to stay home of course. it was wonderful not to have to face shelf after shelf of nothing but files. and i finally caught up on my sewing. haha. if they don't bug me for an mc tmr i might just take a break from work every other week just to get my sanity back.
i bought cleo today to entertain myself at work. this month's edition was the one with the 50 most eligible bachelors, though there was nothing eligible about most of those empty headed guys who think head prefects are better than cheerleaders just cos there might be a wild side to her under the good exterior. gosh how shallow can some guys get? worse answer was: cheerleader, it's such an ego boost being seen with someone every other guy wants. ?!?! those who gave good answers were the older ones so indeed older guys are more matured.
i'm super addicted to the song with you by chris brown these days. i just listened to it like 7 times straight it's such a feel good song. the chorus is below and it's just so sweet. haha. go to youtube and take a listen!
Oh! I'm into you,
And girl no one else would do
Cause with every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know no I can't be the only one
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight
With the love of they life who feel what I feel when I'm with you [x5]
Girl..With you [x5]
jo wants me to lead bible study later. gosh i hope i don't screw it up. especially since i'm still not sure what legalism means. jo you better not go back on your promise of helping me! but i'm still thankful for the opportunity to lead i'm sure it'll be a learning experience.
even though i've got a long way to go with my job i'm already thinking what job i should get next. haha. somehow the idea of scooping ice cream at gelare appeals to me. haha. and since i've tried sales, teaching and admin so far this year, i'm thinking of getting a job along the lines of waitressing. we'll see in 3 months time. weiqin manda and i were saying we should go be waitresses in the same place like a hotel. i would love that cos it means having company whether you love or hate your job. haha.
ok the end of another post of random rantings though it's not as bad as the one on tuesday. haha.
watchin u;
at 10:46 PM
Monday, February 18, 2008
first of all, i'm having the most horrible cramps now. it's so frustrating cos i never use to have cramps. cramps as in the one only females have, not the one you get when your muscles act up. in the past i could drink whatever i wanted during that time of the month, including cold drinks and i never ever got cramps. but since last year i started having cramps everytime my period came and it's so painful. now i know what my sister goes through. i use to think girls get cramps like once in a while, not every month. haha. ok this is so weird but i'm bored. and not to mention in a lot of pain. it hurts even more everytime i get off the chair so now i'm minimising the number of times i leave the chair.
i've decided to buy/bring bread for my lunch everyday too. cos i think it's weird to eat with the 30-something 40-something men. yes i work around guys cos it's a saikang job. i think i mentioned it in the previous post. so yup. and sometimes i really hate these alone times cos i'll start thinking of my job and results and start emo-ing. argh. i hate my job to the core and i think it's so ironic cos in previous entries i was complaining (i complain to everyone around me too) about how i don't have one and i'm desperate for one. and now that i have it, i wish i could take it all back. take back my saying yes to evon (my agent at recruit express) when she asked if i wanted the job, take back whining so much and take back the lack of courage to not sign the contract.
i've been praying about my job for a while now and it's always the same. please Lord give me the strength to perservere with the job, to not cry over it so easily and for His presence with me to see the 3 months through. i used to be angry but now everyday i'll think, what is it that God wants me to take/learn from this job. ok if i had it my way it would be to tell me that an office job is not my future. but i'm still not sure if that's the case so i'm keeping my mind open and pray for God's enlightenment soon. or later.
it's not like the people around me are horrible, in fact the guys at somerset are incredibly helpful and nice and so is stephen here at eunos. i just hate what i'm doing. it's so mundane, mindless, boring and pointless. like i have no goal in life other than to make sure the papers are in the files. yesterday i kept asking for things to do till i have a feeling some of the papers they asked me to file are for the sake of shutting me up. so from tmr onwards i'm going to bring a book, sit in a corner (i don't have my own table at somerset) and read till someone comes to me with papers to file. it doesn't pay to be pro-active there seriously.
gary says there are boring aspects to every job but from how i see it, every aspect of my job is nothing but boring. argh it's so hard for me to accept this job as smth i'll be doing for 3 months and to just take it as an experience.
sometimes i wish you'd always be free to accompany me. how selfish of me like you've got nothing better to do.
HELLO WEIQIN! (: yes that dear girl blogged so i had something to read at work today and i love her for that. i'm msging her now too so thank God for sending someone to accompany me.
actually she was asking me to check the moe website to see if they've anounced when the As resuts will be out cos she's freaking out about it. and now i am too. yesterday i met chandra manda and weiqin for dinner and we were talking about it. and she said something that really made me think. she asked what do you think you'll get for As, without kidding yourself. CCDDE was the best case scenario that popped in my mind. the feeling i get everytime i think of that is indescribable. what am i suppose to do/where am i suppose to go with that kind of grades? cos honestly i wasn't confident with any of the papers, i screwed up quite a number of them. and it doesn't help telling myself that it doesn't help worrying now which is such a contradiction with my belief that we should trust God with everthing. it's just so hard to. oh well something new to pray about.
i'm more or less expecting CCDDE. ):
and no matter what manda says, i still think it's partly my fault. i should really keep my mouth shut next time when it comes to such issues, or at least think properly before saying anything. i mean of all things i myself have always had a strong stand of being certain before advancing to the next level. i really feel like a horrible friend for giving such horrible advice and to cause so much hurt and confusion.
ok my post is sounding super sad i shall try steering it in the opposite direction now. valentine's day didn't turn out as bad/awkward as i feared it to be. the bouquet was gorgeous, the dinner was lovely and spending time with him was wonderful. (:
i think something i learnt from all this is to truely give and take.
weiqin and i wanna wear our sa uniform when we collect our results! haha. we're trying to get the rest of the class to do it too. and no weiqin i'm not gonna laugh at you when you have to go on stage in your school uniform to get your cert for 4As. i'll be screaming the loudest for you ok. haha. i hope the rest of the class will be enthu about it!
meeting up with weiqin manda and chandra yesterday was wonderful as well i really really really really miss my class. but it's kinda sad cos we can't stay out for long with work and everything the next day. looking forward to the class bbq even though it's in march.
i miss rojaks and babes too. colleen's in melbourne now hope she's alright. min's still obssessed with stickers. i still haven't really caught up with jas and geks yet! and i missed the cny rojaks gathering cos i was sick. how i wish i was still back in school where i could still see everyone around even if we couldn't meet up.
ok i'm tired of blogging alr haha. i shall continue ranting again on thursday. if you've read all the way till here thank you for not letting all my typing go to waste. haha. (:
watchin u;
at 10:23 PM